


Redneck Asshole Tales 2

by celticheart72



Series: Merle Dixon Ficlet Collections [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bad Jokes, Blindfolded and gagged, Dirty Jokes, F/M, Implied Anal Sex, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Injury Recovery, Mention of Death, Merle being an ass, Merle being foulmouthed, Merle calling people names he shouldn't, Non-Consensual Touching, Nudity, Past Abuse, Sparring, Swearing, Threats of Violence, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Violence, mention of injury, paranormal touching, sexual talk, threat of pain and embarassment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2020-03-08 06:29:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 9,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18889054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celticheart72/pseuds/celticheart72
Summary: This is part two of an ongoing collection of ficlets for Merle Dixon. Each chapter will feature a ficlet with a specific prompt or plotline request.Thank you to ivy475 for the work title!!!Specific warnings for each ficlet will be in it's beginning notes.





	1. Just To Piss Her Off

**Author's Note:**

> For the request “I’m this close to taking you over my knee.”
> 
> WARNINGS: Merle being an ass, threat of pain and embarassment

 

Merle was being loud and unreasonable again. Not that his behavior was in any way unusual because it most certainly was not but it was getting on your nerves. He’d called Glen a Chinaman again, called Denise a carpet muncher, cussed Rick out, started calling his brother Darylina, and in general just pissed everyone around him off.

He was walking back to the house the two of your shared with his brother and Carol. As he walked up the steps and came face to face with you, you glared at him.

“What the fuck’s got yer panties in a wad t’day, sugartits?”

Gritting your teeth, you resisted the urge to knee him in the balls or stomp on his foot. “I’m this close to taking you over my knee.”

That brought him up short and he hesitated on the step below the landing you were standing on so you were almost eye to eye. “What’d ya jus’ say ta me?”

“I think you heard me Merle Dixon. You’re being an ass to everyone for no reason. If you keep it up I swear I will take you over my knee.”

He widened his stance and crossed his arms. “Yeah, I’d sure like ta see ya try.”

“Don’t try me Merle. I’m right on the edge of my tolerance for your pissy attitude today.”

“What the hell is going on out here?” Rick walked up at the end of your tirade with Daryl next to him.

“Stay the fuck out of it Officer Friendly. This is between me and my woman.” Merle snarked back at him.

“Sounds like you’re just spewing more of your bullshit Merle.”

“Fuck off and go suck Darylina’s dick…”

You had enough, reaching out you put enough pressure into the pressure point in his shoulder to make Merle reach a hand out to the railing to keep from falling. Keeping your thumb and forefinger where it was you moved your lips next to his ear and spoke so only he could hear you. “You have a choice Merle, I can add enough pressure to do exactly what I threatened and take you over my knee in front of Daryl and Rick, or you can calm the fuck down and put the attitude away.”

Through the grimace he actually managed a small flicker of a grin at you. “What’re ya gonna do if I tell ya this is kinda turnin’ me on, sugartits?”

“Oh geez.” You rolled your eyes and let him go, leaving him to rub his shoulder as you turned around and walked into the house.

“C’mon, sugartits,” he called after you. “Ya can ride me hard and stick yer finger in my shoulder if ya want.”

“Fuck you Merle!” You yelled back and held your middle finger up.

Merle continued rubbing his shoulder and grinned back at Rick and Daryl. Rick was giving him an incredulous look.

“You do this on purpose don’t you? Just to piss her off?”

With a shrug Merle chuckled. “She’s hellfire in bed when she’s pissed off at me.”


	2. Just Your Imagination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts “Did you hear that?” & “It’s just your imagination.”
> 
> WARNINGS: paranormal touching

 

Merle swung his flashlight back and forth in the old passageway below the prison. It had taken your group weeks to clear the prison of walkers. Now you were going back through to the older passages that didn’t look like they’d been used in years to make sure nothing was lurking. The last thing you needed was a surprise from the inside. There were enough of those from outside as it was.

You thought you heard someone whispering your name right next to you and spun around to find nothing was there.

Moving up next to Merle you grasped his bicep while your eyes still searched the passage. “Did you hear that?”

His blue eyes studied your face for a second then followed the shine of his flashlight behind you. With a shake of his head he turned back to the direction you were going and started walking again. “It’s just yer imagination.”

Maybe he was right, you thought. It had been a long hard month. You were worn down and really needed a week’s worth of sleep.

The feeling of fingers on the nape of your neck made you spin around again to find there was still nothing there. “Okay, Merle. This passage is freaking me out now. Can we go back?”

He chuckled lightly. “Come on sugar tits. There ain’t no such thing as ghosts. It’s just that brain o’ yers workin’ overtime.”

“Merle,” you said through gritted teeth. “My imagination is not making me feel someone holding onto the back of my neck.”

When the whispering started again Merle turned to look at you.

“Alright yeah,” he grabbed your hand and pulled you back in the direction you came. “Let’s just go back and block this passage off. No need ta mess with shit that don’t want us around.”


	3. In The Hay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts “Why do I feel like I’m home whenever you’re near me?”, “I will love you forever and when forever ends I will love you some more.”, & I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend my life with.”
> 
> I did change wording of one of the prompts slightly to match Merle's vernacular better.
> 
> WARNINGS: swearing, allusion to sex

 

It had been a long day of cleaning out the barn and bringing in the bales of hay Merle picked up from in town but it was all done. The horses were in their new home and seemed fairly content. Both of you were laying on top of one of the bales in the hay loft resting before you headed in to shower and make dinner.

He’d taken off his flannel shirt and put it over the hay before you laid down on it. You were looking up to the rafters and twisting a piece of the hay in your fingers.

This was what it felt like to have a real man by your side, you thought to yourself. Turning your head, you glanced at Merle’s scruffy cheeks. His eyes were closed, and he had his hands resting over his abdomen.

“Why do I feel like I’m home whenever you’re near me?” You whispered and laid your hand over his.

His eyes opened and he laced his fingers with yours. “Dunno, sugar. Maybe it’s my surly disposition?”

You giggled at that. “Jesus Merle. But you know what?”

He just hummed in response as his thumb brushed over your knuckles.

“I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend my life with.” Moving in closer to him you pressed your lips to his and he moved his hand to brush the hair that escaped your messy bun out of your face.

“That’s good, cause yer pretty stuck with me now.”

This time you nipped his bottom lip before you kissed him. “Can’t be stuck somewhere you want to be.”

“Yeah, that’s true, sugar. I figure I’m gonna love ya ferever and when ferever ends I’ll love ya some more.”

You raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. “Really Merle? Figuratively or literally?”

“I ain’t a man ta refuse a woman some literal lovin’.” He helped you to a sitting position and made a show of swatting at your ass. “Get yer ass in the house. We’re gonna shower and break in that new bed o’ ours.”

“That’s sounds like absolute heaven.”

Merle gave you that shit-eating grin of his that never failed to send little sparks of electric tingles through your body. “Gonna feel like it too.”


	4. For The Birds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”
> 
> WARNINGS: none

You sat on one end of the couch wrapped up in your blankets with your box of tissues and glass of water on the end table next to you. Merle was on the other end of the couch similarly situated.

Every time he sneezed and had to blow his nose he whined like a baby. And rather than his disgusting snot riddled tissues going into the trash can right next to him they were all over the floor.

"This flu shits fer the birds."

If he only knew.

"Yeah, well, it's not exactly a fun time for me either Merle."

His blankets shifted and one red-rimmed blue eye looked at you above the cocoon he'd made himself. "It's yer fault I'm sick."

"My fault? I told you I had the flu and to stay away from me!"

He just grunted sullenly and burrowed further down into the couch. "I'm hungry."

You leaned your head back onto your pillow, hoping the raging headache you had would ease a little.

"Some grilled cheese sounds good."

Oh wait, you thought to yourself, Merle is your raging headache. You chose not to answer. Until you felt his foot nudging your knee.

"Ya can only suffer through my whining fer so long 'til ya get up and make me a sandwich."

Finally, you stood up and glared at him.

"Some o' that iced tea o' yers sounds good too, darlin'."

"I'm going back to bed." With that, you turned and trudged back down the hallway to your bedroom.

"Hey! What about my grilled cheese?"

"Get up and make it yourself Merle!"

There was a lot of cussing from the living room after that.


	5. Wanna Bet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts “First one to make a noise loses.” & “You have no idea what you do to me…”
> 
> I changed the wording of one of the prompts slightly to match Merle’s vernacular better.
> 
> WARNINGS: nudity, vaginal sex, mentions of anal sex

 

It had been a long day and both you and Merle were anxious to get to the semi-privacy of your shared cell after finally being able to shower. All you really wanted to do was fall asleep cuddled to his broad chest with his heartbeat under your ear.

Merle of course had other ideas.

“I’m tellin’ ya, sugartits, YOU can’t be quiet when I’m drivin’ inta ya.” He was saying, a little too loudly you thought.

You rolled your eyes at him, “I most certainly can be quiet Merle Dixon. You however definitely cannot be quiet.”

Merle grinned and stopped you just outside the curtain of your cell. “Wanna bet?”

“Alright. First one to make a noise loses?”

“What’s the winner get?”

Stepping inside your cell you considered as you started taking off your clothes to set them on the chair next to your makeshift dresser. Turning toward Merle you watched his blue eyes go right to your tits as you removed your bra. “How about if I win I get that full body massage you always flake on…”

He opened his mouth to protest and you held up a finger to shush him as you stripped off your jeans and panties.

“You do. Every single time, five minutes in it turns sexual.” You crawled onto the bunk and laid on your side to watch him.

Merle kicked off his boots and undid his jeans. “That’s cause ya lay there butt assed naked. What’d ya expect me ta do?”

“Give me the massage you promised.”

“Alright, alright, what do I get if I win?”

“What do you want?”

“Anal.”

You pursed your lips and stuck your finger in his chest as he nudged you to your back and climbed between your thighs. “Alright, anal it is,  _ BUT _ you have to find lube this time.”

The grin on Merle’s face was wicked as his fingers guided his cock through your soaked pussy lips to your entrance. He lifted a finger to his lips. “Remember, be quiet now.”

“Haha Merle, just fuck me. I’m getting that massage.”

His hips thrust forward and you almost let out a squeak but suppressed it at the last second. Merle was determined to get you to cry out. He used every trick in his tool box that normally got you moaning. Frankly, if it weren’t for the fact that you were concentrating very hard on  _ NOT  _ moaning you would have lost it as soon as he curled his hips in that way that made the head of his cock drag over your g spot.

You reached down and circled your thumb and first finger around the base of his cock, adding some pressure as he moved.

Merle bit down on the soft spot on your neck that normally set you off.

The two of you went back and forth trying to get the other to moan, grunt, growl, or something but you were both holding your own.

Until Merle decided to play dirty.

He pushed his pelvis into yours and started thrusting so shallowly and slowly that his skin dragged over your clit each time. His hand went to your breast where he started brushing his thumb over your nipple and his mouth went to your ear. When you started to shake he pinched your nipple, bit your earlobe, and slammed into you hard all at the same time.

Your teeth were gritted, and lips pursed so the moan came out a muffled hrrrrnnnnnggg but it was definitely a moan.

Merle started to chuckle as his pace picked up and his hand went down to your clit to draw out a second orgasm as his finally hit him. He grunted and his hips locked against yours while his cock pulsed inside of you. You felt his tongue trace over your collar bone before his lips were at your ear again.

“Y’ain’t got no idea what ya do ta me…”

You snickered, “I think I have an idea Merle. But you play dirty.”

He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Y’ain’t gotta give me anal if ya don’t wanna.”

“Find the lube Merle, then you can fuck my ass.”

His grin widened. “Already got it. Found it last week.”

“I should have known, you devious fucker.”

“I’ll eat yer pussy real good b’fore I fuck yer ass.”

“Promise?”

“Sugartits, yer gonna be so wet and relaxed by the time I roll ya over ta fuck yer ass yer gonna be beggin’ fer it.”

“Hmmmmmm…maybe eventually I’ll get that massage.”

Merle put his lips to your ear again. “More fun the way I relax ya.”

You couldn’t really argue that.

****************************


	6. Sparring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”
> 
> I changed the prompt wording slightly to match Merle’s vernacular better. Also, this took a slightly sexually teasing direction in the end which was not how I started out intending to write this one. lol
> 
> WARNINGS: fighting, nudity, allusion to sex

 

The last punch Michonne got in was square in your jaw and you lay on the ground rubbing it for a few minutes and laughing maniacally with her. It had become daily routine for the two of you to go into the small park area in the middle of Alexandria and spar in the late afternoons before dinner. When you both caught your breath, you sat up and grinned at each other.

“Tomorrow same time?” You asked as you offered her a hand up when you stood.

Michonne nodded, “Same time and place as always.”

You went your separate ways and you started back to the house you shared with Merle, Daryl, and Carol. In that moment you wanted a hot shower before you had to start thinking about the evening chores including dinner.

Merle was reclining on your bed with a book in hand when you walked in. You smiled as his blue eyes lifted to your face. When you reached him, you bent to give him a light kiss.

His eyes pinched when he looked at your face. “Are ya hurt?”

Tilting your head, you gave him a puzzled look as you started to strip off your clothes. “No.”

“Then why’re there bruises all over yer face?” He stood from the bed and followed you into the bathroom.

You turned on the hot water and looked in the mirror. There was a bit of purple blooming on your lower right jaw where Michonne got you the last time and a slight welt under your left eye where she caught you off guard one other time. Bruises were definitely not all over your face though. Lifting a hand, you traced the two areas and smiled at him in the mirror. He was standing in the doorway behind you, arms crossed, looking all kinds of mad.

“There are not bruises all over my face, Merle.” You turned and pushed up on your toes to lean into him and press another kiss to his lips. “Michonne and I were sparring.”

“Sparrin’?” His eyes roamed freely over your naked body before lifting back your eyes. “What the hell ya sparrin’ fer?”

“Exercise. Practice. It’s fun.”

He looked a mix of amused, pissed off, and insulted. “Practice fer what?”

Giving him an incredulous look, you stepped into the shower. “You can’t be with me twenty-four seven and this world has never been overly kind to women.”

There was silence on the other side of the curtain and when Merle spoke the insult in his tone was obvious. “S’posed ta be my job ta protect ya.”

The hot water ran over your face and you stepped back from the spray to answer him. “And you are a great protector, but I should still be capable of protecting myself.”

Strong arms wrapped around you from behind and his hand splayed over your abdomen as he pulled you back into him. You felt his hard cock in the cleft of your ass. “Don’t like it, but it’s kinda a turn on that my woman can kick ass.”

You sucked in a breath as his fingers walked lower and he kissed the sensitive skin in the bend of your neck. “Maybe you might want to spar with me sometime.”

He chuckled lowly. “Yeah, how ‘bout right now?”

“Mmmmmmmmm…”


	7. Where's The Skillet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “Wanna tell me what you’re doing in my kitchen at 3 am in the morning?”
> 
> WARNINGS: mention of drinking and drug use, allusion to sex

 

The sound of glass clinking on glass and pots banging around woke you up and prompted you to grab your Louisville slugger from the side of your bed. You held the bat over your shoulder, ready to swing at the intruder in your kitchen as you crept down the hall.

When you got to the end of the hallway and could see through the open living room into the dimly lit kitchen you sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. The bat was left against the wall in the hallway, you’d get it when you went back to bed. For now, you wanted to know why your ex-boyfriend was in your kitchen.

“Merle!” You took a few steps into the living room so he could see you.

“Hey baby.” He lifted his head from his search in the cabinet under the kitchen island to look at you briefly.

Your eyes rolled so far into the back of your head you were sure you could be mistaken for a possessed person. “Wanna tell me what you’re doing in my kitchen at 3 a.m. in the morning?”

“I’m lookin’ fer the cast iron skillet I use fer bacon.”

“You took it with you when you moved out.” You paused while more pots and pans were moved around. “That was three months ago, Merle.”

“What’re ya talkin’ about, baby?”

Great, you thought to yourself, it sounded like he was drunk and high again which meant he forgot everything that happened and why you threw him out. “How did you get in here?”

His blue eyes popped up over the rim of the island. “Used my key.”

Another sigh escaped as you moved to the island and laid your palms over it. There wasn’t any point in arguing about the key right then. Merle wouldn’t remember the conversation anyway. “Merle.”

More banging while he looked for a skillet that wasn’t there.

“Merle?”

“What?” He stood up and looked around the kitchen.

“Come on, why don’t we go back to bed. You can make bacon in the morning.”

“I was gonna make ya breakfast fer a surprise when ya got up.”

“It’s 3 a.m. Merle, I don’t need to be up for another five hours.” You held a hand out to him. “Come on.”

He took your hand and let you lead him to the bedroom. You knew you should have thrown him out on his ass, but you didn’t have the energy to argue. The truth was you missed him and one night in your bed wasn’t going to change the fact that you were broken up for good. Not even when he spooned you and his hand made its way to places that made you sigh in a different way.


	8. Stubborn Redneck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “You speak very confidently for someone who has no clue what the hell they’re doing.”
> 
> I changed the prompt wording slightly to make better sense.
> 
> WARNINGS: angst, Merle being foulmouthed

 

“What’s the plan, Merle?” Rick folded his arms over his chest, a feeble attempt to look intimidating.

Merle was intimidating. Daryl was intimidating. Hell, even Hershel was intimidating when he needed to me. Rick just annoyed you with his attempts to control every little thing.

“I’m gonna make the Governor think I’m bringin’ Michonne ta ‘im, then shoot ‘im in the head.”

You rolled your eyes. “You speak very confidently for someone who has no clue what the hell he’s doing.”

All four men swung their heads to look at you.

“Wha’dya mean I ain’t got no clue, sugartits?” Merle’s angry blue eyes narrowed as you gave him a look that very clearly said you thought his plan was shit.

“The Governor isn’t stupid. You know he’s going to have men with him that you can see. But don’t you think he’s going to have some hidden as well?”

“She’s right, Merle.” Daryl turned his gaze on his brother who still looked pissed.

“Don’cha think I know that?” Merle shook his head and paced away from the four of you then turned back. “It’s better if it’s just me that takes Michonne. Thataway ain’t nobody else risk getting’ hurt.”

“Since when do you care if any of the rest of us get hurt?” Rick snapped.

“Listen, Officer fucking Friendly…”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Hershel held his hand up to stop the two before they got physical. “She’s right. We all know she is. This isn’t the best of ideas.”

“Wha’dya figure we’re gonna do then, Farmer?” Merle threw his hands up in the air.

You chewed your lip while you considered your options. “What’s our end game?”

Merle turned to look at you.

“Are we planning on staying here at the prison or are we going to move on?”

“We stay. This is our home.” Rick’s tone was firm and brokered no argument.

You moved to stand toe to toe with Rick and met his eyes. “Then we better come up with a better plan.”

When they all just looked at each other you shook your head and started walking back to the cell you shared with Merle. It didn’t take him but a few seconds to catch up to you.

“What sticks got up yer butt?”

“Rick can be reckless at times. He’s put you in danger once, he’s not going to do it again.”

Merle grinned your way as you walked beside him. “Ya just don’t wanna give up my cock anytime soon.”

You chuckled and shook your head. “Leave it to you to bring every conversation we have back to your cock, Merle.”

He reached out and grabbed your upper arm to stop you, then dropped his voice so only you could hear him. “I ain’t gonna leave ya yet, sugartits. Don’t worry ‘bout me.”

Sighing you wrapped your arms around him and rested your forehead on his shoulder. “That’s just it, Merle. I’ll always worry because I love your stubborn redneck ass.”

“Ditto, sugartits.” 


	9. Something To Talk About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “If you say another word about her you’ll regret it.”
> 
> I changed the prompt wording slightly to match Merle’s vernacular and the scenario a little better.
> 
> WARNINGS: sexual talk, violence, allusion to sex

 

You sat at the far end of the bar, away from everyone, drinking your wine and drowning your sorrows. Joe, your no good boyfriend, ran off with the town slut, Pamela.

But the two of them couldn’t do it quietly.

Nooooooooo. They had to drag your name through the mud when you hadn’t done a thing.

Once you found out Joe was fucking Pamela you threw him out.

Rightfully so.

And that’s when they started running their mouths. Saying things like you hated sex. Toys couldn’t even get you off. You were the worst lay in town. Then he started the whoa is me bullshit and they were spreading the rumor you were sleeping with Merle Dixon.

You weren’t. But damnit, you should just to give yourself some satisfaction.

“Lookit who we got ‘ere.” One of Joe’s drinking buddies saw you from the middle of the bar and walked over. “Didja unfreeze yer pussy yet?”

Rather than respond you just rolled your eyes and stayed quiet.

“What’s the matter, ya think yer too good for the likes of us?”

“If ya say another word ta ‘er ya’ll regret it.” That was Merle Dixon’s voice.

“Sheeeeiiiiittt, Merle. Izzit true? Ya fuckin’ ‘er cold fish pussy?”

You turned just in time to see Merle’s fist meet your antagonizer’s jaw.

“Toldja ta shut it.” Merle’s blue eyes found yours. “Y’alright?”

“Just tired of the bullshit Joe and Pamela started.”

“Yeah, can’t blame ya. C’mon…” He held his hand out to you with a wicked grin. “Everyone thinks we’re fuckin’ anyway. Why not give’m somethin’ ta actually talk ‘bout?”

It barely took two seconds for you to down your drink and put your hand in his. As you made your way to Merle’s truck you stopped and looked him right in the eyes. “I don’t have any issue with sex, Joe is just lazy.”

Merle smirked. “I figured.”

“Do you have condoms at your place?”

Surprise and lust flickered in his eyes. “Nah, but we can stop fer some.”

You nodded and stepped up into his truck, it would seem your luck was about to change.


	10. Merle's Pumpkin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “If you carve a dick on this pumpkin, I swear to god.”
> 
> WARNINGS: mention of dicks

 

“How about this one?” You lifted a small pumpkin and showed Merle.

“Fine.” He took it out of your hands and put it in the wagon he was pulling as he followed you around the pumpkin patch.

One of your favorite parts of Halloween was carving pumpkins to put out on your porch and along your steps. You’d save the guts of the pumpkins to make pies which was Merle’s favorite part of it all. Regardless of what he got in the end he was still going to be surly about the process to get there.

You shook your head and moved on, there were still 3 pumpkins left to find.

“Well looky what we got here.” Merle’s voice sounded further away than you expected.

Turning to see what he was doing, you found him not far from where you handed him the last pumpkin. He had an odd shaped one in his hands and from where you were standing it almost looked like it had an ass.

He smirked your way then put it in the wagon.

You didn’t really think anything of it at the time.

After you got home, he set his pumpkin aside and went out to the garage for a little while. By the time he came in you had already opened and gutted the largest of your pumpkins.

He hefted his up on the table across from you and sat down in front of it.

Frankly, you were more engaged in drawing the face on your pumpkin that you planned to carve that you didn’t pay attention when he pulled his pocket knife out.

At one point you looked up to find the tip of Merle’s tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth and he was looking between his phone and the pumpkin.

“Merle, it’s better to cut the top open and gut them first.”

“Nah, this one’s stayin’ right like it is, sugar.”

Something prompted you to get up and walk around to his side of the table. “Merle! If you carve a dick on this pumpkin, I swear to God.”

Apparently when he was in the garage, he’d dropped his pants and taken a picture of himself. He was halfway to tracing his dick on the front of the pumpkin in between the two bulbous growths that looked like a pair of balls. How you missed that when he got the pumpkin in the first place you had no idea.

“Awww, c’mon sugar. This pun’kins meant ta be a cock and balls.”

“Not on our porch it’s not!

“Witch’s titties?”

“No!”


	11. Life Is Looking A Little Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “Sometimes all we have in life are poisonous choices.”
> 
> WARNINGS: mentions of drinking and abuse, allusion to sex

 

The trailer park where you grew up was not a pleasant one. All of your childhood memories were clouded by your parent’s drinking and abuse. They both died of cirrhosis and you were back to clean out their trailer and sell it.

Merle Dixon still lived with his little brother in the trailer next door.

You were curious to know how he was. How the two of them faired.

When you were a teenager you’d sneak out of your trailer and meet Merle by the creek. Sometimes you’d spend the night with him in the treehouse he built down there. He needed an escape too.

One afternoon while you were carrying a box of old junk your mother hoarded to the dumpster you ran into Merle coming out of the management office next to it.

“Hey Merle.”

He grinned at you. “Hey Sugar. Sorry ta hear ‘bout yer folks.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t be, I’m not.”

Merle let out a quick chuckle. “Yeah, don’t guess ya are. I weren’t exactly sad when the ole man passed away.”

The two of you were quiet while you walked back to your respective trailers. “Did you and Daryl stay here?”

“Yeah, not much other choice.” He looked you over. “How ‘bout you?”

You sighed heavily; life hadn’t been the best, but it was getting better.  “Sometimes all we have in life are poisonous choices.”

He hummed. “Yeah, one shit hole ta the next. One shit job ta the next.”

“I’m hoping that maybe I can make a little money off the trailer and some of the things in it to make a fresh start.”

Merle nodded and looked at you again. “Still got that treehouse if ya wanna share a jar tonight.”

Certain pleasant memories rushed back through your mind and you smiled. “Peach?”

“Ya know it, sugar.”

“I’ll meet you there at 9.” The two of you started to go your separate ways but you paused and turned back to Merle. “Do me a favor though?”

“Sure?”

“Bring a blanket this time? I don’t want splinters in my ass tonight.”

His blue eyes lit up and he grinned ear to ear. “No problem.”


	12. Looks Are Deceiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
> 
> I altered the prompt wording slightly to match Merle's vernacular better.
> 
> WARNINGS: blindfolded and gagged, threats, allusion to violence and death

 

Your hands were tied behind your back, you were gagged, and a strip of cloth covered your eyes so you couldn’t see where you were going. The men who had you killed your family and kept you alive to take back to their camp. They kept talking about what they planned for you when they got to where they were going and it made you shudder.

As you walked you bit down on the inside of your bottom lip to keep from whimpering and drawing attention to yourself. Something had to happen soon because it sounded like you were almost to wherever these guys were taking you.

“Hey! What the fuck’r y’all doin’ with ‘er?”

That was a male voice you didn’t recognize. It was gravelly and held a note of contempt for the men who had you. You didn’t want to get your hopes up but you’d be lying if you said they weren’t up just a little.

“Move along son, this ain’t any of your business.”

“I’m makin’ it my business  _ son _ . Now y’all better untie her and let ‘er go.”

There was laughter then a fffftttt sound and a few thuds. The next thing you knew a hand was on your shoulder and you tried to back away in a panic.

“Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt’cha no more.”

It was the voice of the man who intervened, so you stilled yourself. You felt the blindfold being pulled off your eyes and you were face to face with your grizzled blue-eyed rescuer. Another man, somewhat younger, stood to the side with a crossbow slung across his back.

The man moved behind you and released your bonds then pulled down your gag. It was when he moved back in front of you that you realized he only had one hand and a knife was attached to a prosthetic for his other one. These two didn’t look like the rescuing types but looks could definitely be deceiving.

“Ya gotta group ta go back ta?”

“No, my family was killed by those men.”

The man in front of you looked at the other one then back at you. “C’mon then. Ain’t safe out here by yerself. Ya come with us ta ours, Officer Friendly’ll talk ta ya when we get there.”

Trust didn’t come easy in the apocalypse. but you didn’t really have much choice. Ultimately, it was the best decision you ever made.


	13. Your Kinda Fun, My Kinda Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “I hate haunted houses. Why would I pay for someone to scream at me?”
> 
> WARNINGS: none

 

Every year on the first of October one of the local farms set up an old bunkhouse as a haunted house and you never missed it. Of course, knowing that Merle would complain about it you didn’t tell him why you were going to the farm.

When you looked his way you couldn’t help but smile. He was in a pair of worn jeans with a blue-plaid flannel shirt over his wife beater that made the blue of his eyes stand out. His thumb tapped the steering wheel as he drove and sang along to _Sweet Home, Alabama_ playing on the radio.

His lip twitched when you pulled up to the farm and he saw the sign for the haunted house. “Please tell me this ain’t why we’re here, sugar.”

You flashed him a brilliant smile, “Well…”

Merle rolled his eyes but followed the directions of the person directing cars into the field being used for parking. “I hate haunted houses. Why would I pay fer someone ta scream at me?”

“Because it’s fun, Merle.”

”Sugartits, I think my idea of fun, and yer idea of fun ain’t the same.” He groused as he put the truck in park and reached into the backseat to grab your sweater and hand it to you.

The two of you got out of the truck and made your way to the ticket line. You grabbed his hand and stood up on your toes to whisper in his ear. “Maybe so, but if you do this with me now, I’ll do other fun stuff with you later.”

He glanced over and looked you up and down quickly. You giggled when he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him to the ticket booth where he bought two tickets for the haunted house and two more for the hayride.

When he handed your tickets to you, he smirked. “Lotsa fun, sugar.”


	14. Horrifying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Halloween prompt “Come on, just let me scare a few trick-or-treators.” “You’re going to horrify them!” “It’ll build character.”
> 
> WARNINGS: none

 

Merle stood in the kitchen sullenly watching as you closed the front door after passing candy out to the seventh group of kids who had come to the door already. You were wearing a new witch’s costume but wouldn’t let Merle come to the door in his. He’d chosen the creepiest clown costume possible.

It almost made Pennywise look like a nice clown.

You walked over and pressed a kiss to his pouty lips.

When you started to walk back to the living room to resume the movie you were watching he followed you.

“C’mon sugar, just let me scare a few trick-or-treators.” He dropped down on the couch next to you and nuzzled your neck.

“Merle, you’re going to horrify them! And some are too little for that kind of terror.” Your head tilted on its own to give him better access.

“It’ll build character.” He rasped against your neck.

The doorbell rang again, and you stood up to answer the door. Turning back to Merle you scowled at him. “That’s not how you build character in children, Merle.”

“Aww c’mon!”

You passed out candy to about a dozen kids and stayed on the porch for another 3 groups you saw walking up. After they left a small group of older children walked up to where you stood, looked over your shoulder, then took off running the other way.

Merle’s arm laid over your shoulder as he snickered. “Look at ‘em run. And I didn’t hafta do any scarin’.”

“Merle I…” You turned your head to look at him and nearly jumped out of your skin. He was wearing the stupid clown mask.  You snatched it off his head and glared at him. “Merle Dixon!”

His blue eyes twinkled with mirth. “Don’t worry sugar. I’ll make it up to ya later.”

Pushing the mask into his hands you bit your lip as you watched him waggle his eyebrows and flicker his tongue at you. You started to take a step inside the house but were interrupted by the sound of little feet.

“Trick or treat!!!”

Sighing you closed your eyes for a second before turning around to pass out more candy.

“It’s gonna be a treat later!” Merle called from inside the house.


	15. Huff and Puff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Halloween prompt “I thought you agreed I should wear this costume to the party tonight?” “Oh I agreed to you wearing it tonight, but I had no party in mind”
> 
> I did change the prompt wording somewhat to match Merle’s vernacular better.
> 
> WARNINGS: allusion to vaginal fingering and oral sex

 

Holding Merle’s hand, you walked the aisles of the Halloween store looking for the perfect costume. This year you wanted something different, maybe even a little sexy. Pirates, nurses, cops, and Cleopatra all seemed overdone to you. Everyone wore them.

When your eyes settled on a sexy version of a Little Red Riding Hood costume you smiled and picked it up. Turning to Merle you held it in front of you. “What do you think? Should I get this to wear to the party tonight?”

Merle grinned as his eyes roved you head to toe then looked over the corseted bodysuit and red cape. “Yeah, sugar. Definitely wear that t’night.”

You squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck then kissed him. “I can’t wait!”

“Me neither.” He chuckled lowly and let you take his hand to lead him to the front of the store where the cashier was. You didn’t catch the waggle of his eyebrows or the way he poked his tongue into the side of his cheek.

Several hours later when you were getting ready for the party Merle walked into the bedroom while you were putting your black knee-high boots on. You smiled as you stood up so he could see the entire costume.

He whistled and took your hand to spin you in a slow circle. When you were facing him once more, he reached up to your neck and untied the cape which he let drop to the floor. “This needs ta come off.”

Frowning you reached down to pick it up. “I thought you agreed I should wear this costume to the party tonight?”

Merle nodded and bent to your neck where he nipped the sensitive spot there. “Oh, I agreed to ya wearin’ it t’night, but ain’t had no party in mind. I’m gonna huff and puff and lick ya til yer screamin’ my name.”

His fingers found their way into the bottom of the bodysuit making you squeak out a surprised “Oh!”

You were only mildly disappointed that you didn’t make it to the party after all.


	16. Halloween Decorating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Halloween prompt “Why the hell did you bring a ouija board? You know how I feel about that shit.”
> 
> WARNINGS: none

 

Merle watched you with a dubious expression as you decorated his trailer for Halloween. When you asked if he wanted you to put up a few decorations he was fairly noncommittal about the whole thing. As far as he was concerned beer bottles and titty magazines, his words, were all the decoration he needed.

“Thought lights was fer Christmas?” He watched from the kitchen as you strung a set of black and purple blinking lights around his front window.

You giggled and smiled over at him. “They can be for any holiday. It just depends on what you use.”

He watched as you turned the lights on and shrugged. “Alright, yeah. That looks like Halloween and shit.”

His blue eyes followed you around as you put out various decorations. A few pumpkins on his outside stairs. Some static stickers on the window. Spiderwebs on the porch. A few foam headstones in the yard along with various foam body parts.

It wasn’t until you took the last item out of your bag that he started to have a conniption.

“Why the hell did’ja bring a ouija board? Ya know how I feel ‘bout that shit.” Merle’s gruff rasp sounded from behind you.

You set the unopened Ouija board box on his deck table along with a fake crystal ball. “It’s still in the plastic Merle. I’m not even opening it. The box is only for decoration. You know, like a spooky séance table?”

“Yeah, well it’s spookin’ me out, sugartits.” He shook his head. “Why ya wanna decorate this place fer Halloween anyway?”

Smiling you walked over to him and pushed up on your toes to give him a kiss. “Well…I thought I’d dress up and come here to hand out candy, Merle. You could be the wolfman? Chase me around a little between trick-or-treators?”

Merle grinned against your lips. “Now that sounds like my kinda Halloween.”

“I thought so.”


	17. Leather and Whips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”
> 
> I did alter the prompt wording slightly.
> 
> WARNINGS: another guy being handsy, allusion to sex

 

Merle sat at one of the tables in the back of the bar with his friends. His eyes were on you as you walked up to the bartender and ordered another round of the fruity drinks you and your friends were drinking. Your peachy sundress, fancy shoes, and little sweater all proclaimed you way too upscale for the likes of Merle. Something in the way you carried yourself made it clear that the book didn’t match the cover.

Lefty sidled up next to him and followed where Merle was looking. He chuffed out a laugh. “Better leave that alone, man. She looks too goody two shoes.”

“Naw man, she may seem like lollipops ‘n rainbows, but I bet behind closed doors she’s leather ‘n whips.”

“Girls like that,” Lefty pursed his lips and shook his head. “Too vanilla. And too sheltered ta know what ta do ta get a man goin’.”

Lifting his beer, Merle took a long pull on it and watched as you carried a round of drinks back to your table. There was a man at the table talking to your friends when you got there, and Merle could clearly see you tell him to buzz off. A low growl rose in his throat when it was obvious the cocksucker wasn’t taking no for an answer.

He got up and started to walk over to play the hero, hoping for a reward in the end. He stopped dead in his tracks when the asshole put his hand on your ass, and you flipped him onto his back and put the pointy end of your stiletto on his throat.

Turning back to Lefty, who looked dumbfounded and impressed, Merle smirked. “See, told ya. Leather and whips.”

Lefty just tipped his beer to him as he walked over to your table.

You turned around when one of your friends pointed him out. “You coming to defend your friend?”

Merle chuckled lightly. “He ain’t my friend. I was gonna come over here and handle that cocksucker but you sure as shit can handle yerself.”

Folding your arms over your chest you arched an eyebrow and turned your back on him. “I’m busy.”

Shaking his head, he headed back to his table.

“Shoulda betcha couldn’t get her ta pay you no mind.” Lefty cackled.

“Shaddup…I’m gonna be balls deep in that pussy before the night’s over.”

“Whatever man.”

When Merle’s phone pinged, he pulled it from his pocket and checked the text message on the screen.

_These girls are drunk and I’m horny. You better have some booze and condoms at your place when I get there after I take them home._

Merle smirked as he typed out his reply.

_you wearing that leather get up under all that fancy crap?_

His eyes lifted just as you were shuffling your friends to the door. You glanced over at him and casually moved your hand up your thigh, dragging the hem of your dress with it, giving him a glimpse of a leather garter.


	18. I'm Funny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts “Are you drunk?” & “Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”
> 
> WARNINGS: Merle telling bad dirty jokes

You walked into the front door of the trailer with a rotisserie chicken and some fixings for dinner. It had been a long day and you just wanted to get out of your uniform, get a hot shower, eat, and relax. Merle was spread across the couch, a beer bottle in one hand hanging over the back of it, while he laughed raucously and watched some kind of comedy show.

“Merle?”

He spun around on the couch so fast you thought he was going to give himself whiplash. “Sugartits! Wanna hear somethin’ funny?”

“Sure.”

“What’s one saggy tit say ta the other saggy tit?”

You rolled your eyes and wondered just how much beer he’d already had. “I have no idea.”

“If we don’t get some support, people gonna think we’re nuts.” He slapped his leg and cackled gleefully. “I gotta another one.”

Sighing you moved to the kitchen to put the chicken and sides in the oven, so they’d stay warm while you listened to Merle prattle and hopefully got your shower.

“Why’d God give men dicks?”

When you didn’t respond Merle took that as his cue to give you the punch line.

“So, they’d have at least one way ta shut woman up.”

“Are you drunk?”

He lifted his beer bottle and looked at it. “Naw, gotta a good buzz though. Why ain’t ya laughin’, sugartits?”

The glare you gave Merle was his only answer as you made your way past him and down the hall to your bedroom.

“C’mon, laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and ya know it!” 

The bedroom door slammed.

Merle just shrugged and turned back to the TV. “She don’t know a good joke when she hears it.”


	19. Coulda Been Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts “You look pretty good, considering you just got shot” and “are you flirting with me?”
> 
> WARNINGS: mention of injury, Merle calling people names he shouldn’t

The sound of the door to your room pushing inward made you open an eye. Merle was just standing in the doorway staring at you like he was trying to memorize every little detail.

“I’m awake, Merle. Just resting.”

His eyes ran from your mismatched socks, a quirk from before the dead started walking, to your bandaged arm, then to your eyes. “Ya look pretty good, considerin’ ya just got shot.”

You laughed lightly and smiled at him as he moved toward the bed and sat on the side next to you. “I wasn’t really shot. The bullet just grazed my arm.”

“Enough that ya needed that rug mu…” He clipped his comment when you gave him a dirty look and chewed the center of his bottom lip while he considered his words. “That head shrinker had ta stitch ya up.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Coulda been worse.”

“It could always be worse, Merle.”

“Yeah, well, worse coulda been dead.”

The silence stretched on for several uncomfortable seconds before Merle took a long slow deep breath.

“Got me thinkin’.” His blue eyes pinched as they ran over your torso and lingered on your breasts for a second before hovering on your bandage again. “Y’ain’t the kinda woman a man should let get away.”

“What does that mean?”

“Means yer a good woman any man’d be lucky ta have.”

You arched an eyebrow and felt your lip quirk up on the side. “Are you flirting with me?”

He let out a noisy breath through his nose. “God damnit. Y’ain’t makin’ this shit easy. Yer different, that shit I normally say don’t work on ya. Ya call me on my bullshit and don’t back down.”

“Uh huh. Where are you going with this?”

“I don’t wanna lose ya.”

You patted the bed next to you with your good hand. His eyebrow raised in surprise, but you just patted the mattress again. Finally, after a few more seconds hesitation, he stretched out on the bed and lifted his arm so you could cuddle into him.

When you had your cheek laid over his chest with his steady heartbeat under your ear you smiled. “I’m not going anywhere, Merle.”


	20. Santa Claus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “You’d make a really terrible Santa.”
> 
> WARNINGS: mention of a blowjob

“I been thinkin’, sugartits.” Merle told you in the midst of a belch and a scratch to his belly.

“Oh?” Your eyebrow arched. The conversations with Merle where he started out telling you that he’d been thinking about something were usually suspect.

“Well, ya volunteer every year at that soup kitchen and pass out toys ta the kiddies.”

Oh no. You were a little leery of where he was going with this. “Yes, Merle. I know. Why?”

“Maybe I should volunteer ta be Santa this year?” His grin and the way his blue eyes glittered with excitement made you smile.

Until he put a hand over his belly and let out a belch so long you thought it would never end. And you were close enough to smell the stale beer and stench of bile at the end of his belch.

Screwing up your nose you shook your head. “You’d make a really terrible Santa.”

You didn’t think it was possible, but he actually looked disappointed.

“C’mon, sugartits. I even got the Santa outfit already.”

“What?” That brought you up short, he’d really been thinking about this if he actually went out looking for a Santa costume. “You did?”

“Yeah! Hold on, I’ll show ya.” He stood up from the couch, and swayed a little as he made his way back to the bedroom.

When he came back he was wearing a Santa jacket and a Santa hat on his head. He grinned and did a slow circle so you could see the whole picture.

You sighed. You couldn’t very well say no now. Could you?

“Alright. But…” You held up a hand when he started toward you. “You cannot drink at all that day before we go and you have to watch your language around the kids.”

“You got it sugarti…uh, darlin’.” He picked you up and spun you around, somewhat unsteadily. “I promise.”

When you were back on your feet, he plopped down on the couch with a happy smile.

“Okay, I’ll let the soup kitchen know we have a Santa.”

“Right on. Now come sit on Santa’s lap.”

Laughing lightly, you sat on his thigh and leaned down to kiss him when he puckered his lips.

When you broke the kiss he gave you a wicked smirk and poked his tongue in the side of his cheek. “Don’t ya wanna suck Santa’s cock, sugartits?”

You knew it was too good to be true.


	21. Snow Kissed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request for ‘Kissing in the snow’
> 
> WARNINGS: none

The world outside the trailer was white. Georgia as a whole didn’t get a lot of snow but the mountains where you lived did tend to get more. You could count on a few feet every couple of years and this was one of those years.

Merle had gone into town to help Daryl with something at his and Carol’s place and was due back any time.

By the time his truck pulled up in the driveway you were putting the finishing touches on a pretty respectable snowman. You’d even managed to find one of Merle’s old beanie caps to put on the snowman’s head.

He was shaking his head when he got out of the truck and stood there watching you.

“Yer crazy as a fox, ya know that, sugartits?”

“Why do you say that?” You smiled and patted the snowman’s head then turned to Merle.

“Out here in below freezin’ temperatures dressin’ up a snowman.” He made his way over to you and put his arm around your shoulders as he admired your handiwork.

“Frosty was begging to come to life.”

“That so?”

You spread your arms and looked out at the snow-covered trailer park with a smile. “Of course. It’s a winter wonderland!”

The snow, which had been barely falling before Merle got home, started coming down in earnest.

Both of you looked up to the sky.

“It’s a winter somethin’ a’right.” Merle commented, then turned his blue eyes on you.

His fingers reached out to brush a few snowflakes from your cheeks and his thumb traced over your bottom lip.

Merle grinned as he watched the snowflakes fall into your hair and catch in your eyelashes. You pushed up on your toes and wrapped your arms around his neck with a smile as he bent to your face and pressed his lips to yours. His tongue swept over the seam of your mouth until you opened to him and he deepened the kiss. It seemed just as things were heating up the snow picked up even more and you dropped to your feet with a laugh.

“I think Frosty’s tryin’ ta tell us ta take the kissin’ inside.”

You looked at your snowman as you made your way to the trailer. “That’s because he knows where kissing leads with you.”


	22. Behave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “Which one of you assholes brought the non-alcoholic eggnog?”
> 
> Assumes an AU where Merle survives the Governor and is part of the Alexandria community with reader. 
> 
> WARNINGS: promise of a blow job

It was Christmas Eve and the people of Alexandria were having a Christmas party in the meeting hall.

For the last few months every time anyone went on a run, they kept an eye out for anything that could be used for Christmas decorations. That’s how long the community had been planning for this.  

As sparse as the findings had been the hall looked beautiful. There was a small Christmas tree with a few ornaments and sparkling tinsel garlands. Construction paper had been utilized for the children to cut out snowflakes and other Christmas decorations to hang from the ceilings and walls. Plastic tablecloths in green and red covered the tables and someone had found ribbon to tie bows on the chairs. All that was left was the food that everyone was bringing to share for the celebration.

Now if Merle could manage to behave it would be a lovely evening.

You spent the day making pies for the party and even had scraped together enough ingredients to make a few pumpkin cream.

Merle walked into the kitchen of the town house the two of you shared with Carol and Daryl just as you were finishing putting the last of the Dream Whip on the final pie.

“I can think of better places ta put that whip cream, sugar tits.” He smirked and drug a finger over the inside of the bowl before you could finish scraping it.

“Tell you what Merle, if you can behave yourself at the party I’ll coat your cock in whip cream and suck you dry.”

He smirked and his blue eyes bounced between the bowl and your eyes. “C’mon then, let’s go and I’ll behave real good.”

Merle waited for you to finish then helped you collect the pies and the two of you headed over to the hall. The tables were already laden with food and you dropped the pies off on the dessert table. While Merle went to find the two of you some eggnog you went to talk to Carol, Michonne, Daryl, and Rick who were all standing off to one side of the room.

The conversation was pleasant, and you were laughing until you heard Merle above the voices and the music.

“Which one of ya assholes brought the non-alcoholic eggnog?”

“I better stop him before he spikes everything over there.”

Rick looked irritated, years later and the two still weren’t overly fond of each other. The others didn’t seem too bothered by Merle’s antics.

“Merle…” You snatched the bottle of rum he was about to dump into the punch bowl. “…that’s for the kids too. Just put some rum in yours.”

“Where’s the fun in that, sugar tits?”

You laid your hand flat over his chest and pushed up on your toes, sliding your body up his as you did so. “Remember what happens if you behave tonight, Merle?”

He smirked and scratched the back of his neck. “Maybe the eggnog don’t need no booze.”


	23. Persistence Pays Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”
> 
> WARNINGS: none

“C’mon, sugartits. I ain’t such a bad guy.”

You rolled your eyes, stopping on your way to the bathroom long enough to glare at Merle. “Stop calling me that.”

“Jus’ one drink.” He spread his hands and smiled wide at you.

“No.”

He shook his head and sat back down at his table with his brother.

When you made it back to your table where Carol and Maggie sat talking and laughing, the waitress came by and dropped another drink in front of you.

Looking up at her, you lifted the glass. “I didn’t order this.”

She smiled while turning her head, then pointed to Merle, who nodded toward you.

“He’s persistent,” Carol observed with a chuckle.

“Too much so.” You put the glass back on the waitress's tray. “Let him know I can’t accept his drink.”

“Sure.”

When the waitress got to his table, Merle just pursed his lips and nodded.

“Why don’t you give him a chance?” Maggie’s eyes bounced from you to Merle and back.

You gave her a skeptical look. “I thought you didn’t like him, Maggie?”

“I don’t. But he helped Glen when he was stranded out on the back access road to Daddy’s farm. And Glen said he wasn’t an asshole.”

“That’s nice for him, but he still calls me sugartits.”

Carol snorted.

The waitress came back and smiled at you. “Now he wants to know if he can buy you a soda?”

You heaved a sigh, “No.”

She turned to look at Merle and shook her head, then walked off. Merle and Daryl stood up and walked out of the bar a few minutes later.

“He actually looked disappointed,” Carol finished the last of her drink and set some money on the table for the waitress.

“He can be disappointed all he wants.” You did the same.

Maggie just shook her head and followed suit.

The three of you walked out shortly after that and you found Merle leaning against the side of your car holding a red rose.

Carol and Maggie paused, but you motioned them to their cars. “Go on. I’ll be fine.”

They exchanged a look but left you alone.

Merle smirked and handed you the rose when you got to your car.

You accepted it and lifted it to your nose.

“That mean yer gonna let me take ya on a date, sweetheart?”

“You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”

He chuckled, “I know. But I really ain’t so bad.”

“No, I guess you aren’t.” You bit your bottom lip between your teeth and considered him. “How about now? The diner down the road?”

This time it was a genuine smile that crossed his lips and lit up his blue eyes.


	24. Merle Dixon, Best Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle is on his best behavior for Daryl's wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”
> 
> WARNINGS: some sexual innuendo

“Merle Dixon, I didn’t think I’d see you here.” You grinned at the man sitting silently at the groomsmen’s table.

The blue of his vest made his eyes really stand out. It even looked like he’d trimmed his hair and facial scruff. All in all, he cut a very handsome picture.

“It’s my ‘lil brothers weddin’, course I’m here.” He rasped and pointed at his tux. “’Sides, I’m the best man.”

“Best man, indeed.” Tilting your head as you studied him, you held out your hand. “Come on, Dixon, dance with me.”

With a shake of his head, he waved you off. “Naw. That’s okay.”

“One dance, it won’t kill you now, will it?” You shook your hand for emphasis.

He grinned, his blue eyes twinkling when he did. “I’m sure ya can find another dance partner, sugar.”

“What’s the matter, Merle? Are you too good for the likes of me?”

That made him snort, “More like yer too good for me. Go on; ya don’t wanna dance with me.”

 “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” You smirked and came around behind the table with him, snatching him by the tie to get him to stand up. “Dance with me, Dixon. Let’s give everyone something to talk about.”

Merle cackled at that, “If ya wanna give ‘em somethin’ ta talk about we should disappear fer half an hour.”

You pretended to consider that for a minute then pulled him onto the dance floor. “Just put your hand on my ass.”

He shook his head and looked over at his brother who was smiling and dancing with Carol, “I promised Daryl I wouldn’t cause no trouble t’night.”

“Wow. Color me impressed. Merle Dixon on his best behavior?”

“Yeah, well, I figure I caused enough trouble fer him since he was a snot-nosed kid.”

“Awww, that’s sweet.”

His eyes turned mischievous, and he poked his tongue in the side of his cheek. “If ya prefer good ole Merle, I can show ya just how good he is after this whole shebang is done.”

“There he is.” You patted his chest and smirked up at him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my work kudos are appreciated. If you love it comments are wonderful. If you have constructive criticism or questions let's talk. If you leave blatantly rude or negative comments, know that no hate is allowed here and will be deleted. And if you read my work and are too shy to interact right now, know that's okay too.
> 
> I can be found on Tumblr at https://rooker-character-fics.tumblr.com for any Michael Rooker characters (including Merle and Yondu) and https://too-many-fanfiction-fandoms.tumblr.com for other fandoms I write. Sometimes I take requests there, check my blog header to determine if I am taking them.
> 
> Just a general A/N regarding all of my work: Please understand that I update when writing inspiration hits. I never intend on abandoning an unfinished fic, so know that if I do I'll eventually get back to it when inspiration strikes again.


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